Frog Boiling101

Posted: January 6, 2012 in Uncategorized
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I’m scared.  For my grandson!  He turns 5 this year and will soon get thrown into the collective pot of tepid water.  Sitting around the fire pit in our back yard after Christmas, I told my daughter my concerns.  “If I get fired from my frog boiling duties (government school teaching) for not conforming to authoritarianism, I want to home school Chris (not my grandson’s real name).”  She welcomed the idea.

Boiling Frog

Chris is scheduled to enroll in “Frog Boiling 101” next year.  I’m referring here to the intentional scheme of indoctrination by the State in forced schooling.  I’m scared for our future as a family and, on a larger scale, our country.  Throughout our short history, promoters of the good-of -the-group collective understood the crucial role “education” would play in destroying individualism.  Jane Addams, the first woman to win the Nobel Peace Prize (1931), said, “America’s future will be determined by the home and the school.  The child becomes largely what he is taught; hence we must watch what we teach, and how we live.”  While I’m opposed to her philosophy and efforts to downplay the individual, she speaks truth to the subject of schooling in America.

Addams admonishes, “ The child becomes largely what he is taught.”  What do we teach in public schools?  Answer: Frog boiling.  Are the principles of liberty lost in the memory hole?  What does our future hold?  Liberty or slavery?  What exactly is “Frog Boiling 101”?

The loss of liberty doesn’t happen over night.  It slowly slips away into the memory hole.  In my youth, we’d go frog gigging on summer nights.  The process was simple.  Get in a john boat with a flash light and a barbed piece of metal on the end of a long stick and paddle to the croaking sounds.  Shine the light on the edge of the bank and pick your victim – and watch for snakes in overhanging limbs.  Nothing empties a boat faster than a water moccasin landing on your bare feet.

For any PETA members that may have stumbled upon my story, gigging is a relatively quick and humane (okay, maybe not) method to kill a frog.  We didn’t make frog skin boots to flaunt our youthful manliness.  We simply ate the critters.  Here’s something that should really get you boiling mad: Frog Boiling 101!

This is close enough to frog spots.

This method is far more brutal and torturous.  It’s epidemic!  If PETA  ever organizes a protest of this grotesque scourge to millions, I’ll be the first in line with cardboard on stick.  I promise!

You see, the reason frog boiling is such a methodical evil, yet effective cooking method, is the deception of the process.  A young, unsuspecting, innocent creature is placed in large pot of lukewarm water, typically from a municipal water-spout.  In the room temperature liquid, he begins splashing around and meets all his new friends in this new water park atmosphere.  What could more fun?

The fun begins to wear off.  Boredom and rigid schedules and rules take over…and the keeper of the heat stokes the fire.  Little by little, the swimming area begins to heat up.  No problem thinks the juveniles.  I’m actually getting used to the heat.  It bothers me from time to time, but no biggie.  A wise keeper or manager of the heat knows not to bring the water to boil before the process begins.  Uncle Ed is an expert on, well, everything and he knew, and advised that a wild, free-range amphibians would leap from the scalding pot immediately.  If the fire increase below the pot gradually and with patience, a slow cooking will take place.  When I say slow, I mean a 12 year process.  The meat falls of the bones.  Yum!

Tender is good!

If a stick of red oak is added incrementally, the frogs go on playing in the water and suspect nothing.  They are very adaptive critters.  You must play to this tendency.  They’ll notice the water is a little hotter, but not shockingly so.  Only a little worse.  They do whisper to one another as it starts steaming.  With close inspection, you may even hear a vague voice of resistance.  Don’t worry.  They always wait for a drastic temperature swing hoping for one of the a brave resister to make trouble and leap for freedom.  That never happens if you apply heat imperceptibly.  “It’s not so bad,” they end up muttering as they wipe sweat from each others brows.  Besides, after 12 years of little heat increases in an institutional pot, it’s quite intimidating to even dream of freedom in the real swamp.  It actually begins to feel “secure” in the pot.  These metal walls keep the water moccasins out.  Each stick of fire wood is less shocking to the senses.  Weakness in the limbs is thought to be a natural occurrence for everyone.

There have been a few lucky enough to escape.  They told their horrible tales back in the swamp but were labeled alarmist and a little touched.  History has no place in today’s schooling.  It must be directed. Dumb frogs are good for our keepers.  They introduced the course and perfected the methodology of “Frog Boiling 101”.

What to do?  GET OUT OF THE POT while you can!

Dinner is served!

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